About seven years ago, when I used to get bored, there was nothing more fun to me than calling my friends from a blocked number and playing Stevie Wonder’s “Happy Birthday” song, but never on their actual birthday. Listening to the utter confusion and occasional thank you’s just made me giddy as hell for some reason.
But what was even better than that was the part where they’d call and tell me that someone, and they think it was (insert the name of an ex-boyfriend) just prank called them. Ahem, Kendra. It became my boredom cure-all. Until they wouldn’t wait for the chorus anymore and started telling me the calls were frightening them.
Now, I just send text messages to my friends that come from me, but don’t have any kind of context. My current favorite is “Keep on shining!” It’s awesome because you only see those words on autographed pictures from C list celebrities and even then you’re not quite sure what it even means. So, I pulled it out of my bag of tricks a few weeks ago and sent it Samantha’s way. This girl didn’t even hesitate. She shoots immediately back with “LOL! Did you see my Facebook?”
That’s the first time it’s ever backfired. I was the confused one.
But when I tested it out on Venus last night she wrote back “Uh, OK.” That’s not the first time I’ve gotten that response so I was ready with a comeback: “Promise me.” To which she replied “That I’ll stay shiny?”
See what I mean? It’s always fun.
One of the first nights Jake and I hung out together, I dared him to call one of his friends — at 2 a.m. — and say “Let’s get a crew together.” (I came up with the idea after seeing George Clooney’s character say those same words on “Oceans 11″ in reference to the heist he was trying to pull.) After much hesitation, he finally made the call. He was sent to voicemail, but I was still totally impressed when I heard him say, “Hey man, It’s Jake …. Let’s get a crew together.” Click. I was even more impressed when he explained he’d just called a guy he was on the college paper with and hadn’t spoken to in a good six months.
But back to the texts. A few other favorites include “I’m shy,” “I have a cock!” and “Joe Mankowitz: Legitimate hip hop act or one-hit wonder?”
I’m telling you, these are my gems. They can turn that frown upside down in no time. Yes, you can use them, but please give proper credit.