Character Study
Posted By startswithanx on May 20, 2008
Melaina: Me and this girl have a better connection than AT&T, T-Mobile and Verizon Wireless put together. Melaina hustles harder than Rick Ross, thinks of herself as an undiscovered celebrity and boasts the kind of closet that would make Patricia Field proud. We met at a slumber party when we were 12 and haven’t stopped sleeping together since.
Samantha: She’s a redhead and, pardon the cliche, a total firecracker. Samantha will go off like an illegal bottle rocket if you hurt a friend or family member of hers. This is a girl whose primary weaknesses include spicy food, furry kittens and large penises, in no particular order. We met in reading class, where she interrupted my adventures with Ramona Quimby to find out about my bookmark.
Harriet: She lived across the street from me for most of my childhood. Harriet was an only child and spoiled rotten. While my Barbie dolls drove around in Payless shoe boxes, hers rolled in pink Corvettes and chilled with glamorous people like Jem and the Holograms. I was the maid of honor at her wedding, but each year since then we’ve grown further apart. I met Harriet in my front yard. Shortly after she introduced me to Ramen noodles and her uncle’s Playboy magazines.
Kendra: You gotta love a girl who insists she doesn’t watch rated R movies while she sips from a bottle of Miller Genuine Draft. Kendra can make me bust a gut without saying anything at all and she’s not even a mime. She likes her men the same way she likes her coffee: African-American. I met her 13 years ago at a girl named Chica’s house. She wore lots of gold, a slick ponytail and a Miss America smile.
I’m actually begining to beleive that being the Maid of Honor in someone’s wedding is like the kiss of death for that relationship. I have been the Maid of Honor for two weddings and two very good friends but since then I have talked to both Bride’s maybe a handful of times and years have passed since the weddings took place. =(
LMAO!!!!!! i’m frightened.
How about Samantha from Samantha Who? Way off base? She isn’t a redhead but does that matter?
Oh Darling, you failed to mention my perfect ass!
lol – i would have mentioned your perfect ass! (nice boobs too)
ok – i am really hoping it is the Kendra from Buffy??????
hotstuff,
You will find out later who “Kendra” is. Maybe even tomorrow. I guarantee you will be baffled but I have my reasons, one of which was revealed in the Kendra profile.
So, if I’m the only guy commenting does that make me creepy? All your friends sound real hot, but you mysterious blogger, sound the hottest. A woman who can write with authority and wit is truly a catch. Do you think i can get some love if I leave my digits? If not, I’ll be stalking via my computer from a remote area west of the Mississippi on a daily basis. Keep it up, princess.
Senior Perverto – guess what? It’s true. X and all her friends are extremely hot. Hottest group of friends south of the Canadian border.
I will have to agree with Hotstuff we are pretty hot…Although I am a bit disappointed that I got the ugly friend from SATC.
LMAO! At least you’re not Harriet.
You think you’re hot stuff because you went to a dance. Dream on! No one wants do date you because you are a dog! A dog! A dog!
Teen Witch, your comment just about made me piss myself. I’m hot… and you’re not… but if you want to get with me I’ll give it one shot, TOP THAT!
[...] He’s married with two children. The old acquaintance, who I’ll refer to as OA, took Melaina’s virginity 13 years ago and then washed his hands of her after about a few weeks. She was [...]