Crossing the Line: One of My Favorite Pastimes
Posted By startswithanx on May 11, 2009
Have you ever found yourself smack dab in the midst of a hurdle jump over the infamous “line”? The line you’re not supposed to cross? The line that never tempted you the way it did once you started dating someone you work with?
Get your mind out of the gutter now or you’re gonna be really disappointed by the end of this post.
Two weeks ago Jake and I decided to hire maids to spiffy the place up before my friends came in town. Knowing I had a very busy day, Jake offered — via instant message — to make the call from his work desk to the maid service. Five minutes later I’ve got an instant message telling me a carpet cleaning is only $25. “Take it!” I reply. Soon enough he’s asking if we’d like to pay an extra $50 for a deep cleaning that includes the oven, base boards, ceiling fans and the fridge. “Take it!” I reply again. Before I have time to buy the beautiful farm they’re also offering, I get hit with an instant message that kills my impulse buying buzz.
Jake: Wait. I guess the carpets are actually $60.
Me: What happened to the $25?
Jake: I don’t know she just changed it.
This is the part where I do ballerina leaps over “the line.” I take off my headphones, raise my ass out of my chair and stomp approximately 25 yards over to Jake’s desk in an “Oh, hell no” trance.
Me: Give me the phone.
Jake: What?!
Me: (While noticing I’m getting the “We gotta raise the milligrams” look from Jake) Yes, what’s this about $60 for carpet cleaning after you just quoted us $25?
I notice heads turning and Jake sinking into his chair as my voice begins to raise. Turns out the bitch on the other end drives a hard bargain, but so do I. The back and forth continues.
Jake: (In a loud whisper) OK, this is my office phone and you’re on it doing non-office stuff!
Me: OK, what kind of deal can we get for carpet cleaning in just one room?
Jake: (In a louder whisper) I’m serious. Give me back the fucking phone!
Me: Fine, we’ll do the $60!
I hand the phone back to Jake. Before I can sit back down I’ve got three instant messages.
Jake: WTF? Are you crazy? … I have bosses, ya know … That was SO inappropriate!
As I prepare to tell him how badly he’s overreacting, I imagine him doing the same to me. I look to my right and see my boss. I notice how quiet it is in the office. Like hear-your-entire-phone-conversation quiet. The very thought makes my face turn red.
Me: Man. … Two blow-jobs and a half-hour of counter clock-wise swirls?
OK, that’s not what I wrote, but that’s basically what it came down to. I know, I know. Deep breaths next time.
i can’t believe you gave into that carpet cleaning…what happened to the negotiator who was offered a car salesman job after she purchased her car? oh well i heard they did a good job.
Dude! I risked my boyfriend breaking up with me on the spot. Kinda had to give in. We ended up canceling the carpet cleaning in the end. I decided I could do the job myself. Guess who still hasn’t done the job herself?
This post is as bad as it sounds, no, let me rephrase that, it’s worse. I was so freaking embarrassed. As X’s voice got louder, I could see heads turn on the other side of the cubicle. Meanwhile, my boss is just arm’s length away from me, and like X said, we were in the process of making a personal call during my office hours. I’m usually good at making those calls because I’m incognito, very much unlike X who was basically on a bullhorn. Not Cool! I was so irate. My face must have been beet red as I slumped in my chair and muttered under my breath for her to get off my phone! I can’t believe I actually composed myself and forgave her within minutes. I think it’s because she apologized right away. But if she didn’t, one of us was sleeping on the couch that night. It would have probably been me …
I have done something similar to that. I think I may have been crazy. My now husband and I used to work for the same company. I was thinking that I was being thoughtful and brought him breakfast. He told me in front of another co-worker that he was not hungry. No big deal right? Well being that I was crazy I THREW the breakfast at him and cussed him out. That was the most humiliating moment of my life. Thankfully he forgave me and realized that I was having a rough patch! Now that I have written a book in your comments, I will go now!
Man.
I’m taking you with me the next time I go to a yard sale.
I had a similar carpet cleaning issue with Sears and I gave ‘em hell when they got to my house and then left the Brazilian alone with them while they cleaned the carpet. I felt bad but we’re in a recession! Don’t be nickel and dimein’ me!
hahahahahaha! holla to that!
and ahhhh the power of blow-jobs….just saying
ps my blog is now open to all…come and visit
Thank god you apologized right away otherwise I probably would have been getting text messages from Jake telling me he’s sleeping on the couch. LOL!!
Yeah, I would have cancelled too, and then called someone else. It’s a pain in the ass to do it yourself, trust me.
“Man. … Two blow-jobs and a half-hour of counter clock-wise swirls?” – Apparently Jake drives a hard bargain, too.
This is where google brought me, I guess they are reliable