Movie Spoilers. Not the Kind You Think.
Posted By startswithanx on January 25, 2009
The movie-going experience is something I take very seriously. Do not fuck it up for me or I will make it known that you are doing just that. Whether it’s turning completely around in my seat and staring at the foot thats kicking my chair and then following the rude reflex all the way up to your eyes OR coughing/yelling “AHEM” in the direction of you and your friend who doesn’t understand the plot and is expressing so at a volume that matches the big action scene.
These are both examples of strangers hindering the experience, but what about when the person you’re sharing popcorn with is the culprit? Miranda — sorry Miranda — has a bad habit of asking loud questions. It’s almost as if she wants the lady in front of us to answer why the main guy is trying to shoot the other guy. And, Cliff — sorry Apa — loves to make loud observations. “Hey! Is that Ellen Barkin? Looking goooood, Ellen!”
Most recently, I’ve discovered Jake is one of these people. Except, the only victim to his offenses is yours truly. My beloved boyfriend has an annoying habit of turning his head sideways to study my face during the obvious tear-jerking scenes. As in staring directly at me. With a slight grin on his face.
So, finally, after a scene in “The Wrestler” that had my face all scrunched up and my lip curled under, after I felt like I was right there with Randy “The Ram” and his daughter, after Jake jerked his head to watch me weep instead of watch the rest of the scene — I made a mental note.
As soon as we get in the car, I told myself, you must tell him to refrain from turning to watch you cry during a movie. So, I did. And he has. Refrained, that is. But, I never asked why he does it.
(So, Jake, how’s about an explanation in your comment today?)
We treated ourselves to a double feature this weekend: “Slumdog Millionaire” and “Frost/Nixon.” During the former film I saw him, out of the corner of my eye, almost turn his head at that crucial moment. But he stopped himself. I see a full rehabilitation come the summer blockbusters.
During the latter film, we discovered first-hand how easily an interruption can erupt. During the juicy last interview between David Frost and Richard Nixon, Jake leaned over and whispered a question to me.
Jake: “Hey, what’s that guy’s first name?”
Me: “Huh? Oh, um, Richard.”
Jake: “Oh … Wait, not Nixon, dumb ass.”
We got a little case of the giggles. What? No one’s heads even turned our way and the courteous folk we are, we quickly recovered. We’re not stupid. We know when to shut the fuck up. Unfortunately a group of obnoxious teenagers during opening weekend of “Good Will Hunting” 12 years ago didn’t.
Tune in tomorrow for that story.
My “annoying” habit of turning my head and staring at X during sad scenes has become a reflex. I see a sad scene and my head automatically turns until I hear myself thinking, “Do you have a staring problem?” and I mentally answer, “yes, yes I do.” But I have been conditioned to do this. It all began one day when X was watching one of those ridiculous reality shows on VH1. I can’t remember if it was the Flavor Flav show or the spinoff, “I love New York.” Anyway, I walked in the room and was amazed, shocked and saddened, that my girl friend was crying, yes, CRYING, over a “sad” scene in the show. Now I turn my head during every sad scene to see if X is miraculously not crying. I know it’s unlikely, but I want to be able to witness the unbelievable. It would be as rare as spotting Bigfoot or a UFO. Anyway, this weekend, I did start to stare at X during the saddest scene of “Slumdog Millionaire.” I quickly realized my mistake though and turned my head right quick to the screen. See how whipped I am? So whipped, I almost got whiplash.
On another note, I was surprised when X never called me out after the movie for doing the head turn. I was sure I was going to catch some shit over it because we made eye contact. All you battered boyfriends/husbands can relate to the paralyzing fear I felt. I should have known the topic would crop up as a blog post. Funny stuff. …
LOL! So that’s why! I was really getting a little worried that you were taking some weird pleasure in watching me weep.
It’s true, it doesn’t take much to make me cry. In fact, that’s probably a post in itself.
Oh and baby, I didn’t call you out because I saw that you caught yourself and was pretty damn proud of the rehabilitation taking place before my eyes. I think it brought me to tears, in fact.
My sister’s housemate has a daughter around 10 years old… and she feels the same about my sister that she cries at everything… which she does. In fact when she was little I wanted to stop giving her water in hopes that she would dry up and not be able to cry.
In any case, I went to the movies with both of them ONCE and the little one sat between us and then proceeded to stare at both of us … she was concerned that it was a family trait.
It’s not, exactly…. but it was really annoying to have someone staring at you every time she thought it was a really sad or moving scene.
I was convinced Jake was staring at you because he has a soft and tender side and he wanted to gaze at your angelic face as teardrops rolled down them. What the hell am I doing giving Jake the benefit of the doubt? Pfft!
I hate, hate, HATE when people ruin the previews for me. I LOVE the previews so much that I usually take note of the good ones so I make sure to see them or add them to my netflix que or whatever. People that think you can be late or talk during previews kill me! I think I am going to see 4 movies this weekend in preparation for The Oscars. There’s SO much good stuff to see and I wanna see it ALL!
Sometimes my sister will stare at me while we’re watching TV; I’m guessing to see what my reaction to the scene will be, laughing or crying or whatever. Every once in a while I’ll ask her why she’s looking at me and not the TV. Worse is when she talks to me when I’m trying to watch something. Um, hello, please don’t talk. Or stare. I’m busy.
I like to watch movies by myself. This works out well, because my husband would rather pump out our septic tank than sit still and watch people emote on screen for two hours. Okay, maybe not REALLY the septic tank, but the point remains . . . and I never go to a theater to see movies, so I get to just watch them at home, where it’s quiet and no one can bother me.
I do the head turn, too. Mostly because I like to make fun of my wife when she cries at stupid things. Like Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.
I was at the movies a few weeks ago when the cell phone of the woman down the row rang. She was all apologetic as she rummaged for it, and I almost felt bad for her–until she ANSWERED it and had a WHOLE CONVERSATION on it right there in the theater! ARGH.
maybe it is generic and you get it from me -the crying, I mean. I relate so much to the people in the movie, I even feel embarrassed for them when they do or say something stupid. The other thing which I have not done so much lately, is I sometimes shout out when there is something scary – to the point that some of my family members would not go to the movies with me. But I have gotten better on all accounts as I have matured and seen the error of my ways :]
I went to see SATC The Movie with a group of girlfriends and one of them left their phone on and it started ringing towards the end of the show. What did she do? Nothing, not a damn thing. The broad did not pick it up and turn it off because she didn’t want anyone to know it was her phone. So instead everyone just kept staring at her because the ringing was coming from her purse located directly in front of her. I swear!!
Oh and X the group at “Good Will Hunting” were not teenagers. I beleive they were a mixture of teens and adults and the adults were the greater offenders, which made it worse.
My daughter has this terrible habit we can’t seem to break. If we watch a movie at home, she spends the entire time playing 20 questions. I always say, I haven’t seen this movie either, so shut up and let me watch it. Q&A should be after the movie. She still does this, and she’s 15.
This is HILARIOUS! The Brazilian does the same thing! I LOL with the “Richard” comment. You two crack me up!
hahaha my daughter does the whole Q & A during as well but she is only 10 – I was hoping she would grow out of it. it’s ok during a movie but it drives me nuts during LOST.
i was worried that Jake had a fetish involving a crying broad (like 2 of my ex’s) – good to hear thats not the case.
this reminds me – new pet peeve……people who text during the movie. ummmmmm hello people??? just because the phone isn’t ringing does NOT mean the light on your screen isn’t EXTREMELY distracting!!!!!
Oh – I hate to be bugged during movies. And I cry at EVERYTHING too! My husband used to ask me questions during movies, but I refused to answer or even acknowledge he asked and he finally stopped doing that.
Badass Geek: Um; I cry like a little girl when I watch Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. It’s NOT stupid. Those families have been through so much! *sob*.
I get so embarrassed if someone sees me crying during a movie or, say, a commercial that I always try to think of other things because I’m so afraid I’m going to start. And it totally ruins the experience for me! That’s why I love watching sad movies all by my lonesome.
I cry during Flavor of Love and I cry during Extreme Makeover: Home Edition! I cry for Gray’s Anatomy, if I catch a daytime soap, and I’ll even cry for that long distance phone service commercial where the runaway kid wants to call their mom from a payphone!
So about bitches that ruin movies… a friend of a friend was watching the most recent Harry Potter with his wife & kids and there were two young teen girls directly behind them who chattered through the whole movie. So at the end he turned around and said: “In the next movie XXX dies and XXX kills them!” They stood open mouthed, shocked & staring. I heard that story and thought I might have stood up to applaud had I been there to see it!
I’m a weeper, too. So is my mom. However, she will join my siblings in the open-gawking. Her explanation is that it distracts her so SHE doesn’t cry. Still annoying.
i hate movie interrupters! do not talk, text or kick my seat! no wonder fights break out at movie theaters people are just inconsiderate and rude. i do believe the worst offense is a crying baby! don’t bring a baby to the movie. find a babysitter or wait til it’s on DVD, seriously.
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[...] I would say something (as you read here and here), but considering this could be the last movie these people ever see, I can’t do it. [...]