Jake and X … and Levi Johnston
Posted By startswithanx on July 16, 2010
Remember when you were a kid and you’d find out something really awesome just happened to one of your friends? Something that made you wonder why God liked them more than you, like she got her period before anyone else in your “group” or something really “neat” like that?
Remember how you’d reply? It went something like this: “Nuh-uh? LUCKYYYYY!” Or maybe your brother was playing Frogger and he beat the game. What did you say? “Nuh-uh? LUCKYYYY!” The girl you walked home from school with got the newest Adventures in Babysitting Club book before it hit shelves — “Nuh-uh?” LUCKYYYY!”
You get it.
Here’s a little conversation Jake and I had two nights ago.
Me: Samantha’s doctor put her on bed rest. She’s not due until September!
Jake: What’s that mean?
Me: She has to stay in bed all day until freakin’ September!
Jake: (Takes some time to process the info) Nuh-uh? LUCKYYYY!
One woman’s bed rest is another man’s … bed rest? By the way, there was no sarcasm whatsoever detected in Jake’s last comment. Not a drip. Should that worry me?
Onto other potential worrisome news in the Jake and X department. Turns out I have more in common with Bristol Palin than just trying real hard to act like I’m not a big sex-starved trollop in public. Her man, that would be Levi Johnston himself, proposed the EXACT SAME WAY Jake did. I don’t even want to think about the implications.
Folks, there were rose petals leading to her bedroom. There was a heart made of petals on her bed with a ring box in the middle. There was a bended knee while she took it all in. You can read about it here, although I just gave you all the BITING details. That’s right, I said “biting,” as in Jake’s proposal style got BIT by a Playgirl centerfold.
I would use the ol’ “Great minds …” saying and call it good, but um, we’re talking about a guy who wants to associate himself with the Palin family, so I’ve decided there’s no other conclusion but the obvious: LEVI JOHNSTON CLEARLY READS STARTS WITH AN X!
Levi gets zero points for originality. He also gets zero points for that cover shoot. I just threw up in my mouth a little …
Agreed Jake – that pic is icky. And what a copy-cat. So X, how do you feel after finding out Levi is a reader?
On another note, I was on bedrest for 3 months and it effing SUCKED.
Of course Levi reads “Starts with an X!” What else can he be doing in Alaska? He doesn’t have a job. It’s his only way to find out what’s going on with civilization and how to raise his child (which is the same way you two raise Penny).
I’m guessing Levi has a friend who reads Starts with an X! because I am not really sure Levi reads…. but good for the friend … for reading your excellent blog, and for having the sense to give Levi some class!
That cover is totally retro! He looks so pubescent. Yucky!!
I agree wtih Anna someone would have had to read the blog to him, ya know the boy can’t read.
that cover is hilarious….yuckums! i love that the two of them are getting married just to piss her mom off.
That is hilarious. I’m not sure the guys is smart enough to be reading your blog, though.
Aaaahahahaha! You nailed it, X. Levi is your #1 cyber-stalker.