Something that makes me sad. Hmmm, besides the amount of time the 30 Blogs challenge is taking my currently overwhelmed ass to complete? And, besides the fact I woke up with a lovely head cold Monday morning? Well, that would leave only one thing. My girl Knochers is doing like Nicholas Cage and Sheryl Crow before her did. She’s leaving Las Vegas.
Actually, she left Las Vegas. She’s officially waking up every morning in a log cabin in the snowy woods of Colorado. No, she hasn’t been kidnapped by Kathy Bates. She moved in with her best friend and plans to start a new life in Denver. I think she just went through all the available men over 21 in Vegas, but she denies that, insisting there were at least three she never got her hands on.
Here’s what. I have a theory that me and this girl would’ve done some serious damage if I’d met her in my single days. I’m talking some Thelma & Louise, Snooki and tequila, New Orleans and Katrina kind of damage. If I were a lawyer trying to prove my case, I’d present her going away party as Exhibit A. Look, I love my toilet and all, but not enough to bear hug it until my neighbors are collecting the newspapers from off their porches. So, maybe it’s best we met when we did.
When was that, you ask? Two years ago when our girl Asian Spice did what she does best and connected us — via the blogosphere. After reading and commenting on each other’s blogs we met at the restaurant that would soon become our (Asian Spice, Knochers and I) lunch spot, Sammy’s Wood Fired Pizza. Shortly after that we started the movie dates and Get Back groovin’ that eventually led to the phenomenon known as Benetton. That’s right, yellow, white and brown coming together as one. As soon as Asian Spice’s baby (OMG, she’s prego!) arrives, we’ll take a real Benetton photo with all of us nude from the shoulders up, extending our arms to hold a Chinese-Filipino-Brazilian bundle of ethnic joy. Can’t wait for that.
Here’s the thing. In the last few weeks Knochers was in Vegas, we shared some great girlfriend moments. She let me use the shoulder of her sweater as my personal hanky. She came over to my house once only to discover that we were both shockingly wearing performance fleece from Old Navy AND brand spanking new jeans from the GAP that had been purchased the same day. We made a trip to Smashburger on Christmas Eve that turned into a long session of ”Oh my God, this one time …” which was inevitably met with ”Shut the hell up!” We discussed her future as a trend forecaster after her prediction that 2011 would be the “comeback year of the ballerina.” We discovered a mutual affection for Nicki Minaj. And, soon after that, we realized we’d both been working for the Kanye West campaign in which we found ourselves calling all our friends, associates, former schoolmates and anyone else to make sure they listened to “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy.”
That’s when Knochers promised to come back to Vegas, not just for my bachelorette party and wedding, but for her, Jake and I to watch Kanye perform the insanely dope songs on that album live and in person. And, now that it’s on Starts with an X, it’s official, Knochers. As soon as those concert dates are announced, you know the deal.
Until then, I’ll continue being sad about a frienship that bloomed and then bounced. That’s not to say I don’t understand. As someone who’s left her best friends in Utah more than once, I definitely do. But, now I’m on the other side and it kinda sucks. You all know I’ve struggled to find girls who “get me” in Vegas. It’s tough to make good friends once you’re an add-ult. With Asian Spice having a little one on the way and all, I know that friendship’s going to change. And, now that Knochers is long-distance I kinda feel like I’m back to square one in the 702 friendship department. But, as the saying goes, it’s better to have Benetton’d and lost, than to have never Benetton’d at all.
So, who’s this blog for? It’s for my girlfriend. It’s for my BFF (Benetton Fucking Forever). … And, as Jake would say, don’t Knoch it ’til you try it!