So, the fiancé mentions to me the other day that he “hasn’t decided where to take” his bachelor party yet. Rather than remind him we haven’t decided on a date, venue, caterer, number of guests, color combination or photographer yet either, I decided to focus on something that wouldn’t lead to our first 911 call.
I decided to focus on the fact that Jake is more than likely going to leave town with his “boys” for a weekend-long celebration of his final days as an unshackled man. I happen to think it’s dope. The fact that he has this option, I mean. It’s enough to make a girl jealous. And a little resentful at the same time.
Why do women let go of their friendships so easily? I know most women have one strong friendship, but I’m talking about a circle of friends. And, don’t give me the whole “But, Lori and Tracy and Kim and I all send each other postcards at Christmas” spiel, either. Nor do I want to hear about the babies and marriages and careers that make it so hard.
If it’s so hard then someone explain why the staff at the neighborhood bar refer to Jake and his Vegas buddies by name? If it’s so hard then how is Jake’s phone blowing up with text messages from all over the country every time we sit down to watch a sporting event? If it’s so hard then why can he just assume all his friends will be more than happy to hop on an airplane for his bachelor party?
I just resent the fact that, in order to have a solid circle of friends as a woman, you almost have to be single. I can’t stand that so many women abandon their girls the moment they couple up. You know damn well what I’m talking about, too. If you don’t then take a look around. Who are the women you spend the majority of your social time with? I’m willing to bet they’re the significant others of your man’s closest friends. Somewhere between your last booty call and monogamy you happily adopted his friends as your own.
Sorry to break the news, ladies, but real friends are chosen, not inherited. Not to say I don’t enjoy Jake’s friends or their girlfriends/wives. I do. But those fools won’t be planning a weekend long vacation for my ass anytime soon. Why? Because I’m an inheritance, dammit!
That’s why we can all take a lesson from Carolyn Online and Ms. Picket. I don’t know how many girls’ trips these two have taken in the past two years, but it’s enough to make me wonder if they’re really dudes. Look at this last one and how happy all the women look. I suspect it’s because they CHOSE these friendships and they CHOSE to get away together. Choosy women don’t choose JIF, they choose girls’ trips.
Excuse me while I take the time to address my broken circle of friends: Um, no this isn’t a plea for someone to start calling travel agents. But, it is a plea for us to get the circle back to 360 degrees, if you know what I’m saying. Let’s send emails. Pick up the phone. Drop a text message. Act like we give a shit. At one point we chose to BE friends. How’s about we choose to STAY friends?